#The movie collector fullWhether you’re a believer or a skeptic, we shall never know the Ultimate Movie Collector’s full story. Debates about him swirl out of control, landing us in the town of “I don’t wanna talk about this anymore.” Population: wasted time. Today, the UMC is a hot topic among film nerds. Nobody, though, has found his underground network. He has a special place in his heart for film history and old Hollywood, hence why he favours these places. #The movie collector archiveThe most popular theory is that the UMC dug secret tunnels under old theatres and archive houses to steal the movies he still needs. It’s a cheap way for companies to be “down to earth” with their buyers. This collector is no fan of alliterations. Others think the UMC wants to humiliate the term “streaming services” for being too alliterative. He dreads making the “perfect” course schedule. Some say he’s just a college student escaping from the dreary monotony of essays and lectures. His anonymity only provokes people to entertain their own wacky stories about him, and boy are there many. A good way to blend in for a legend of his calibre. No one knows the UMC’s exact age, his family roots, his job, how long he’s been collecting, or where he lives. Still, this cinephile’s origins remain a mystery. No matter their box office numbers or critic scores, he will never leave a movie behind. The collector treats each motion picture like a lifelong pal. These are just a peek of the UMC’s passion for all things film. A cassette tape of Avengers: Infinity War stuck in a VHS player shaped like the Infinity Gauntlet. A vacuum-sealed reel of Tommy Wiseau’s The Room was found under the Oscars’ red carpet. The UMC’s variety of movies puts bigwig collectors like Quentin Tarantino to shame. The Hollywood sign does cartwheels on L.A.’s Walk of Fame. Video rental stores sing cheesy musical numbers on top of shopping malls. TVs and DVD players breakdance in their homes. This signals the growth of his collection, but therein lies a puzzling celebration. The songs of every film the UMC gets from the Jaws theme to the Star Wars anthem, can be heard all around the world. He goes from Walmart to Walmart, finding movies in any format. It didn’t take long to wipe out every record and document with his actual identity. His real name is unknown since he uses a pendulum he bought from a dollar store to hypnotize file clerks. A sucker for nostalgia, he collects them in all their physical media splendour. Often called the UMC, this elusive film lover owns every good or bad movie that’s ever been made. We find ourselves irked by reality, an annoying plane of hissy fits that tires our imaginations.įor entrenched within rumours and whispers, lies the Ultimate Movie Collector. Festering in the human mind are the quirky questions without answers, the lingering doubts that lower our IQ, and the heralds of nonsense from the confines of ridicule.
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